Why blog?

Hello!

First off, wow! I never thought I would be sitting on my chair and actually sending my thoughts to the vaste ocean of online surfers. But here I am!

Sometimes I (I'm pretty sure it's not just me but most of today's teens and young adults) feel that it just keeps getting harder and harder to completely open up to someone. I mean, there are so many things we need to talk about, I don't know about you, but I could write a book!! However, I don't want to seem like someone who needs constant attention, or someone who needs to express every single minute detail of their life. So I found that the pros of having a blog, a little piece of your mind in the enormous world of data collection, is to be able to type up how you feel, what you think, without ever really expecting people to read it!! I know it sounds pointless, but it actually makes sense! NO PRESSURE!

So let's see, when you know someone for a while, let's say your best friend, you automatically make an image of yourself in her/his mind, that image molds the character you play in her/his life. It's not only your best friend, it's your parents, your siblings, basically your so called "entourage".

Just think about it, you get invited to a party where you know no one. You enter the house/restaurant, they all oggle at you like prejudice-hungry-voltures, trying to place you into their little stereotype table (and you thought they exagerated Mean Girls? WRONG!) with every other fresh meat at the party. The first five minutes you spend in front of them will determine the way they will look at you for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE (unless you do something really unexpected, good or bad).

Unfortunately, I was exposed to this categorizing event at a very early stage in life, I was about 6-7 years old, so young, so innocent. I didn't mind leaving my parents alone to enjoy their grown up time, I ate my food when I was told and didn't fight with the other children. The voltures were of course very impressed with my display of autonomy and maturity; and before I knew it, the new word on the street was that I was the reliable kid. It only got worse afterwards. My academic highs made people talk, they were all interested to know where I was studying now, where I was planning to apply later and my study habbits. While parents idolized me, kids, not so much :( So here I am, protraying the image of the perfect daughter, sister, student, tutor and even mentor (seriously!!???). How was I supposed to know that Perfection was out to bite me in the ass!?

When people say "life goes on" or even better "time flies" they have no idea just how much truth lies in those wise words! With the everchanging time, and with life on the racetracks, I was changing every second and racing my way through life like an olympian, putting my future goals before anything. So when I realized I should slow down and enjoy my youth while I still had time, IT FELT SOO GOOD!! To me at least, I can't say how everyone else would feel. See, there's the other point, where I come from, IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU!

Your friends are supposed to accept you for who you are and only judge you when it's funny (code of friendship ;P) But there is only so much that you can tell anyone about yourself; human nature extols you to think, thinking extols you to judge and so you can't help it. So when you open up to people, you should never expect them to take you the way you are 100%. You're like the transfered energy, you are never transfered a 100% to the next medium, there is always a loss somewhere along the line. Same with acceptance, there is always at least a 10% (sometimes it's a crutial 10%) that is lost and replaced by the person your listenner wants you to be. Complicated much? YES!!

So I don't want that, I don't want anyone to feel pressured to understand me. I don't want to be the Da Vinci Code to anyone's Tom Hanks. And what better way to let it all out without "expecting" anyone to care than to write a blog? :)

Geez! I did not expect the first entry to be this long! Haha, but I had to get it out there!

BTW!!!: It's not that I don't care about what you might write to me, your comments are totally appreciated, I just find it easier to take criticism from strangers, because honestly, I don't expect anything more.